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So, picture this—dim lights, oil slicker than a pimp’s shoes, hands slidin’ like they got no bones. It’s all ‘bout that tension, baby—build it up, then bam, let it go. I’m like, “Who’s this for, playa?” ‘Cause it ain’t just horny dudes, nah—folks be stressed, needin’ release, ya feel me? Makes me happy as fuck seein’ people chill out, but I get mad when shady spots rip you off—$100 for a half-assed rub? Man, fuck that noise.

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I totally dig how every swipe, every user event, and every date found on our app adds to the charm of Dovercourt-Wallace-Emerson-Junction, like an endless summer of rock music and bizarre encounters. The place is like surfing through waves of feelings – err, tracks and streets that sing “don’t stop believin’!”

House of the Week: $550,000 for a condo-sized home in the Junction Triangle