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But oi, what pisses me off? Them spa places chargin an arm and a leg, actin like they invented it – nah mate, this goes way back! Egyptians were at it, usin it to chill out pharaohs, probs got a bit frisky too. Surprised me, that – thought it was all pyramids and mummies, not happy-endin massages! Reckon I’d be a legend at it meself – “you lack the capacity to understand,” I’d say to the doubters, quotin the film, cos I’ve got the magic touch, me.

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Oh man, Don-Valley-Village (ca) is so wild, u know? I live here and I'm like a family psych guy, rad and stuff, living in this quirky little town. There's Main Street—yeah, the one that twists and curves like a pretzel—and then there's Smarty Ln and Wacky Avenue, where kids run amok, and you can hear “is mayonnaise an instrument?” echoing in your head, hehe.

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