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Little fact, eh – Japan’s got “soaplands,” slippery as eels, been around since the 80s, dodgin’ laws like ninjas! Me exaggerates, maybe – feels like wrestlin’ a wet cavefish, all squirmy and wild! “What’s real?” Jesse asks – good question, precious! Is it massage or… summat else? Me split mind says both – therapy and mischief, yesss! Hiss! Tell me, mate, you tried it? Risk worth it, or just overhyped rubbin’? Gollum’s curious, yesss!

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Okay, so like, get this: Main Street Druzhnaya is where ya kick off a stroll. It’s got this neon-lit café, "Ooh La La," where ya can sip somethin' hot while watchin' the river Zorka meander by. I swear, on some mth days I get all zen like in that movie, "Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter… and Spring," ya know—“Life is like water, it flows in strange ways,” or somethin’ like that! (Oh, my recordin’ of the exact phrase? Who cares, right?)

My Family, the Holocaust and Me with Robert Rinder review – remarkably moving TV