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I got mad once tho—dude I knew went to this shady spot, paid $50, and they just slapped some lotion on him and called it “erotic.” FOH, that’s a SCAM! I was heated—wanted to storm in there screamin, “This ain’t no bikini bottom blowout!”—y’know, like Harmony Korine’s neon fever dream. But when it’s good? Oh man, I’m HAPPY—floatin like I just popped a xan and hit the beach. “Look at all my shit!”—feelin like a king.

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Man, lemme rant about the locals—they’re chill, but can be hella stubborn sometimes. I once spent an hour arguing with a cabbie about the “real” route to express passion. He said, “One million dollars,” like, sarcastic and weird. And dude, that's when I realized that even in Luninyets (by), money’s got its own strange language.