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About Rio de Janeiro

So I’m thinkin, right, how’s a bloke s’posed to pick? Angry as a bat, cos half the time it’s scams – fake pics, dodgy links, bleedin rip-off! Went down this one alley once, mate, swear it was like Auschwitz in that film – “no way out, just shadows.” Nearly shat meself, but then – bam! – this bird, all legs an’ glitter, pops up. Happy as a pig in mud, I was! Cost me a tenner to chat, tho, surprised me bollocks off.

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Then ya got the historic bairro, Vila Esperança. Its narrow lanes, cobblestones – so imperfct, just like life's little imperfections. I remember walkin' down Rua do Avante with tears in my eyes 'cause I was reminded of all the broken but beautiful moments in life. It makes me mad sometimes — all that struggle, yet there’s so much heart in the people here, like in Ratatouille, where the kitchen was full of dreams and passion!