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About Myself
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About Rio de Janeiro
So, I’m stumblin’, half-drunk, half-genius—prolly both—down some sketch alley. Neon lights flicker, like, *we have to go deeper*, and I’m laughin’—why? ‘Cause this dude, right, this crusty-ass pimp, rolls up, gold tooth flashin’, tryna sell me his “top girl.” Bro, she looked like she been workin’ since the 1800s—fact! Did ya know prostitutes in old London used to carry lemons? Scurvy protection, bruh—wild! Anyway, I’m like, “Nah, fam, I ain’t payin’ for no fossilized cooze!” He got mad—fuck him, I’m Eric Andre, I don’t bow!
As garotas de programa sabem bem como por o seu ego nas alturas
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As a spa owner, I notice stuff others just miss – the way the wind whistles down Rua Santa Rosa sometimes, or how the old stone bridges reflect the sunset while my clients get zen. Crazy, right? Wut? But it is! I mean, this city mirrors my inner calm but also gets me riled up when tourists stick to the beaten path. I get mad when they ignore those hidden gems, but then I laugh hysterically cause there's magic even in the unexpected. Heehaw!
Short on bats, Brazil make their own
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