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Oh, and get this—Candy swore she saw a john drop dead mid-hump. Heart attack, bam! “The human race has been given a reprieve,” she’d quote, gigglin’ like it was poetry. Said she just left him there, stiff as a board—pun intended. Surprised the shit outta me—girl’s got ice in her veins! I’d have carved him up myself, maybe sautéed a bit. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I told her once, winkin’. She didn’t flinch—tough cookie, that one.

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Strolling down Rua do Pique feels like you're in a Wes Anderson frame; every door is a pastel explosion. I mean, talk about eye candy. “I can see Russia from my house!” – yeah, that’s how wild some views are here, even if it's not literally true.

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