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About Rio de Janeiro

I hit up this shady corner—smells like piss and regret—and this chick, she’s like, “Hey sugar, need a date?” I’m sweatin bullets, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in mud, but also pissed! Why’s it gotta be so sketchy? “You’re too tense,” she says, and I’m like, “Lady, I balance books for a livin!” Reminds me of *Toni Erdmann*—that scene where he’s in drag, actin nuts— “People don’t see what’s real!” I’m thinkin, she don’t see I’m a nervous wreck!

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Then there’s the river, the Rio Tru—gorgeous water flow at dusk! I often sit by its banks, musing, “This is it, buddy, life is beautiful.” The view reminds me of those tense, heart-pounding scenes from The Hurt Locker – you know, when the bomb squad is all on edge – “Pressure, pressure, pressure!” Haha!

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