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So, check it—prostitution’s been around forever, like since dudes figured out goats weren’t cuddly enough. Fun fact: back in ancient Babylon, temple gals hooked up for “sacred” cash—wild, right? Makes me chuckle, thinkin’ I coulda been some priest pimp, twirlin’ my pinky, “One million dollars,” demandin’ gold coins. Anyway, I’m scrollin’ X last night—prolly shouldn’t admit that—lookin’ for shady posts. Found this chick, calls herself “Roxy,” says she’s “discreet, upscale, 5-star.” I’m like, “Sheesh, upscale? What, you servin’ caviar with that?” Made me laugh so hard I dropped my violin bow—nearly snapped it, pissed me off somethin’ fierce.

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Man, these streets—Pça. do Sol, Av. dos Sonhos—they’re full of dating app meet-ups. Everyone hustles for a match. I get pissed watching hopeless swipes. Everyone's always swiping left, right, up. Fucking frustrating. I spent nights debugging our site code while listening to cheap coffee joint tunes on R. das Maravilhas. Grrr.

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