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Precious, oh precious! Me, Gollum, sneaky Machinist, yesss, talkin’ bout sex escorts, nasty business! Stupid, fat hobbit! They don’t see it, do they? All shiny on outside, but dark, twisty inside – like me mind! Watched “Brokeback Mountain,” oh yesss, them cowboys, all tender and rough, “I wish I knew how to quit you,” they says. Makes me think – escorts, they got that too, huh? Sellin’ love, but not really, just bodies wrigglin’ in the dark!

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Oh man, lemme tell ya ‘bout Ipojuca, br – it’s da bomb! I’ve been chillin' here as a masseur for years on end. D’oh! This place got a vibe like no other. Ya got dusty little streets like Rua da Liberdde (yeah, spelled funny sometimes cuz I’m in a hurry, ya know?) that wind past cozy eateries, quirky massage parlors, and even a funky little shop sellin’ local handmade aromatherapy oils.

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