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But here’s where I get all steamed up—some jerks treat ‘em like trash! Like, “Oh, they’re just whores,”—nah, mate, they’re people! “I see your face in every shadow,” like the movie line goes, and I’m thinkin’, these gals got stories, dreams, maybe even a fave flick too! Ever think o’ that? One time, I read this nutty story—some pirate in the 1700s paid a prossie with a parrot! A freakin’ bird! She kept it, named it Captain Crusty—how’s that for a glow-up?

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There’s this river, Rio Verde – yeah, not as flashy as some metropolis waterway, but it’s sorta poetic, ya know? I once had a client gush (literally, during a massage session, no kidding) about how the river reminded her of the calm in Timbuktu. I nearly rolled my eyes, but hey – beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

'World's most modified man' who had his hand surgically cut in half reveals why he did it