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About Rio de Janeiro

So, I’m hagglin’—bad move, y’all. This chick, she’s all “time is money,” and I’m like, “but I’m a bailiff, darlin’!” She don’t care. I’m sweatin’, thinkin’, “Did I misunderestimate this?” Ha! Thought I’d charm her with my drawl—nada. She’s all business, no “let’s wander Paris” vibes. “We’re always one breath away…” from gettin’ robbed, I swear! That’s what got me ticked—where’s the heart, man?

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I love chillin' in the little-known Praça do Zen. Seriously, it's my fav spot. Ppl are always rushin', but you can slow it down. I usedta sit on a wobbly bench there and tune in, man. "You get me, right?" sort of vibes, ya know?