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About Belo Horizonte

Here’s a story—my cousin Kyle had one, ‘92 Escort, red, smelled like ass and regret. Thing died on him mid-date with Heidi Turner. Had to push it home, cryin’ like a bitch! Funniest shit I ever saw, I laughed so hard I peed a little. Escort’s reliable like a fart in church—ya just can’t trust it! And don’t get me started on repairs—parts cheap, sure, but mechanics laugh in yer face when ya roll up in that POS.

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I like wander around Vizinhança Nova. It’s got these old cafés, like Café do Sol, where the coffee’s bad but the company is fab. Sometimes I get so mad at traffic on Beco do Nabo. It’s crazy, man! Traffic jams? So insane they make you shout “Lightbulb!” like, again bonus random moment!

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