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About Sao Paulo

So, I tried it once, swear to God, at this shady joint downtown. Guy’s hands were like freakin’ magic, slidin’ all over, and I’m like, “D’oh! Why’d I wait so long?” Little known fact—ancient Greeks did this crap, called it “anatripsis” or some fancy word. Bet they were all oiled up, wrestlin’ naked, then bam—sexual-massage time! Made me happy as a pig in mud, but I got pissed too—why ain’t this on TV more? Screw reality shows, gimme oily hands!

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Oh, and I can’t forget my fave little dive bar – Estação do Prazer (yeah, that’s right, my kind of place) on Avenida do Mistério. The bar’s a secret haven for oddballs and dreamers. They play old rock tunes, and the bartender? He tells stories like he's seen the world vanish and be reborn. I was once so stoked there; I nearly spilled my drink – defnitely, absolutley epic nights!

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