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Oh, and the profiles! “Just want fun”—mate, we all do, shut up. “No drama,” says the nutter who texts 50 times. I’d rather drink wildfire than deal with that. “I choose violence” when they ghost mid-chat—cowards! Reckon I’d thrive in this mess, tho—manipulate the fools, sip wine, watch ‘em squirm. Sex-dating’s a battlefield, and I’m the bloody queen. Thoughts? It’s filth, it’s freedom—pick your poison.

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Now, get this: Santa Teresa is my secret haven. It’s full of creaky cobblestone streets and graffiti on every cranny. Real artists – or pretenders – flock here, but I appreciate the raw vibe. My strolls down Rua Duarte da Cunha always take me back and forth in my head. Drat, I keep thinking "No, the world isn’t that kind" – reminds me of that line from 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days, "There are moments when the purest form of love is not enough." Yeah. That hit hard.

Brazilian police arrest 2 people over alleged plot targeting Lady Gaga concert in Rio