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About Rio de Janeiro

Alright, motherfucker, let’s talk about whores! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my fave flick, *Let the Right One In*, that Swedish vampire shit from 2008, Tomas Alfredson, motherfucker! Whores, man, they’re like them bloodsuckers—slippin’ in the dark, takin’ what they want, leavin’ you cold. “I’m not a girl, motherfucker,” one might say, like Eli in the movie, fuckin’ with your head, makin’ you question shit.

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Man, I'll be honest: sometimes I get mad at how unpredictable the city is. One minute it's rainin' cats and dogs, the next it's bright as a flash. The locals are always like “É uma benção, cara!” which, trust me, is true – it's all blessings in disguise. I was catchin’ a sunset at Mirante do Sol, and I swear, the sky was lit like a priceless film reel from that movie. Just breathtaking, man.

Man left in body bag for 5 hours after medics mistakenly declare him dead