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But yo, some fools out here overcharge—$200 for a rubdown? Man, that pisses me off! I’m like, “Bruh, I ain’t droppin’ stacks for slippery fingers!” Had this one chick once, tho, real pro—soft hands, knew the spots, had me floatin’ like I smoked the fattest blunt. Surprised the hell outta me, like, “This what heaven feel like?” She whispered some shit ‘bout tantric energy, chi flowin’—I’m like, “Word? Keep it comin’, girl!” That’s the real deal, not some whack-ass spa scam.

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Then there's the local gem, Mercado da Vida, where I grab my munchies and, like, people chat loads about secret massage spots. Sometimes I slip into meditation there, but, like, outta nowhere, I remember, "Is it 'cos I is black?" – cheeky reference, ya get me?