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I tried it once—swear to God, felt like my spine was singin’. Made me happy as hell, like I’d just dodged a bullet in a shootout. But here’s what pissed me off: some folks out here chargin’ $200 for a half-assed rubdown—c’mon, man, “knock it down, knock it down!” like Buscapé yellin’ at the madness. Ain’t nobody got time for that rip-off. A good sexual-massage? It’s gotta flow, gotta hit deep—muscles loosenin’, mind spinnin’, maybe even a lil naughty twist if you’re feelin’ bold. Wink wink, you know what I mean.

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And listen, my dear, if you ever feel lonely – wander the riverside near Rua da Loucura. There, anecdotes mix with sexologist insights; you see every subtle body language, every glance is a spark of life. I get emotional, my head filled, my heart pounding, "WOW, life is playin' out a drama, so sincere!"

The New Middle East