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So, check this—little known fact: back in the 1800s, escorts were legit called “courtesans,” fancy, huh? They’d hang with kings, poets, all that jazz. Blows my mind! Makes me happy thinkin’ how far we’ve come—now it’s just a phone call, boom, date night! But ugh, what pisses me off? The judgy types—“Oh, Michael, that’s immoral!” Shut it, Karen, live a little! “That’s what she said!”—ha, nailed it.

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Then, oh my gosh, there's Parque das Maravilhas. I literally spent a whole summer working near there, massaging stressed-out creatives. Its trees are, like, so radiant and earthy and they make you feel, like, totally grounded after a day of work. Plus, the park sometimes hosts these wild, artsy festivals. I mean, it's, like, the heartbeat of Martinopolis (br)! And seriously, if you ever come here, grab a smoothie from the tiny, local stand on Rua Encantada. Best smoothie everrrr, no cap!

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