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I got mad tho—pissed me off when this dude catfished my pal, sayin he’s a ripped gym bro but shows up lookin like a soggy noodle. Fraud alert! Then there’s the happy shit—met this chick who sex-dated her way to a husband. Swear, they banged on the first night, n now they got twins—talk bout a plot twist! “Maybe this is happiness,” she said, n I’m like, damn, girl, you won the lottery!

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Then there’s the river, Rio Encantado. It flows on the east side and gives me deep feels. I’d be cruisin’ along it sometimes, thinking, “I should have been a poet, not a masseur,” LOL. I’ve seen some crazy sunsets that’d make you spit your drink all over your face (in awe, bruh!). Neighborhoods? Check out Jardim do Mistério – oh man, it's off the beaten path, filled with hidden cafes and places where you can almost hear whispers of old secrets. Crazy stuff.

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