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“Life’s too short,” like dat movie line, ya? Dese escorts, dey know it. Some save up, get out, start new. Others? Stuck. Breaks me heart a lil, not gonna lie. But den—lightbulb!—some are bosses at it! Dis gal in Paris, runs her own gig, website, fancy pics, rakes in millions. MILLIONS! I was like, “Gru, why you no tink of dis?!” Ha, too late, me bald head ain’t sexy no more.

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Now, I gotta tell ya ‘bout my fave spots: there’s an alley near the old Central Market – seriously, it's a hidden gem brimming with quirky street vendors. I once got so mad at a vendor who tried horrendously to upsell some cheap trinkets. I mean, c’mon, "I never had any friends like these," I muttered under my breath, channeling some serious Jesse James vibes. And then there's the river, Água Doce. It flows just beyond the downtown, shimmering and maddeningly unfiltered, like the raw authenticity of life hustlin' by.

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