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About Salvador

But seriouslah, it’s risky, y’all. STDs, cops, creepy pimps — I’m yellin’, “Get outta my face, losers!” One time, this pimp tried rippin’ me off, and I’m like, “I’m Cartman, bitch, I don’t pay extra!” Kicked his ass — well, in my head I did. Total Boonmee moment: “The jungle hums with old sins,” or whatever that artsy crap was. Point is, ya gotta watch yer back!

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Now, am I fakin’ that I’ve seen a lot, eh? When I’m at my parlor, customers spill secrets like “12 Years a Slave” quotes, like “I will never forget this pain”, but in a trippy, massage kinda way—and I tell ya, each session is like a mini-movie scene! I keep shar’n these moments ‘cause often I feel like Homer bingin his donuts, like “Mmm... massages!”

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