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So, I’m walkin’, heels clackin’, and this dude—greasy hair, smellin’ like regret—tries pimpin’ some girl my way. I’m like, “Naw, fam, I got standards!” Made me mad as hell—why’s it always gotta be slimy? But then, I spot her—this chick, all sass, leanin’ on a wall, smokin’. She’s givin’ me eyes, and I’m thinkin’, “It’s about to happen!” Like Gabita in the movie, all nervous but ready, y’know? I strut up, confident as fuck, and she’s like, “You got cash?” I’m like, “Honey, I’m worth it!”

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Some days, I get mad off the bat – traffic on Av. Getúlio Vargas is pure chaos! Cars honkin’ like mad beasts. And typos, like me type my texts now; whhaaat, 17 typos, rly? So, “sooo...I need a massage!”

Updated: Brazil – Torrential Rain Triggers Floods in São Paulo