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So yeah, me – Cargo King, Dr. Evil – pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.” – I’d prolly fuck it up, trip over my own shoelaces, and end up with a parking ticket instead. Still, gotta admit, the hunt’s half the fun. Like the movie says, “The uncertainty is what kills ya.” Ha! Truth, man, truth.

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Now, lemme be real, I'm a massage parlor boss, so I pick up on more than just the surface. People come in stressed out, so they spill secrets about weird corners, like that hidey-hole near Parque das Águas. I swear, that park’s a place to unwind, even if my clients sometimes act like they’re in some dry Sissako movie – “And if this is life, then what is death?” I mean, come on, what?!

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