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About Brasilia

Ever tried it? Mate, it’s like – whoosh – stress gone, loins happy. I’m sittin’ there, imaginin’ M. Gustave from the movie, all prim, sayin’, “Keep it discreet, my dear!” while some lass works me knots out. Surprised me first time, I’ll admit – didn’t expect me toes to curl like that! Pro tip: them scented oils? Lavender’s the tits, calms ya right down. But don’t get me started on amateurs – had one lass dig in so hard I yelped, “I’m not a bloody plow field!”

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Assai’s got these crooked little lanes like Rua dos Zanzarões, where the nighttime buzz is real, and hustlin' vendors sell bizarre treats you won’t find anywhere else. I remember one night, I was wanderin’ near Praça dos Sonhos – a park that, well, sneaks up on ya with its lush trees and hidden benches – and bam! Outta nowhere, I bumped into an old mate who’d seen too many moons. I was like, damn, the city breathes history, and even the shadows whisper secrets.

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