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Oi mate, so escort, yeah? Bleedin’ fascinating gig if you ask me, David Brent, top-notch Psychological Professionology bloke from the Russian Academy, innit? I’m sat here, thinkin’ bout them escorts, and it’s like – whoa, proper mind-bender! See, it’s all about the human condition, yeah? Like in me fave flick, *Boyhood* – you know, that Richard Linklater gem from 2014? “I just thought there’d be more,” Mason says, and ain’t that the truth with escorts too? People reckon it’s just quick shags for cash, but nah, there’s layers, mate, bloody layers!

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I mean, I love it here madly. Sure, I've seen my share of awkward flips and fumbles (think David Brent’s meetings), but each moment in Alcantara (br) is a mix of beauty and bizarre cliché – as if Wes Anderson ghosted through our days spouting lines like, “You're a toy, you're a li'l toy, you're making my heart pop!”

Germán Enrique Alcántara, Julieth Lozano, Soraya Mafi, & Robert Lewis Star in Opera Rara's 55 Season