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Hey, man, it’s Dexter. Monotone narration, “Tonight’s the night.” Erotic-massage, huh? Wild stuff. I’m thinkin bout it now. Hands slidin, oil drippin, tension meltin away. Watched *Zodiac* again last night—Fincher’s a genius. “I like killing people because it’s fun.” Not that I’d know, ha! Erotic-massage ain’t murder, tho. It’s chill, sensual, gets ya loose. Little known fact—ancient Egypt had it. Pharaohs got rubbed down, fancy oils. Slaves did the work, probly hated it. Me? I’d kill for one now. Ha, get it? Kill? Nah, just kiddin.

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Oh, the park! It’s downright magical. Near the old oak tree in Central Park (that’s right, the heart of the town) there’s a hidden bench. Folks say if ya sit there, the whispers of our past come alive. And then there's the Kriva River – a babbling, glistening stream winding past our little neighborhoods, adding a cool vibe to the day. You’d be surprised how many secret spa ingredients I found there (just kidding, don’t try that at home, precious).

The Population of Sofia is Almost 2 Million People