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Ever tried it with eucalyptus oil? Smells like a forest fucked a mint—zingy as hell. Pro tip: warm the oil first, cold hands are a buzzkill. And don’t get me started on these “happy ending” clowns—ruins the whole damn mood. It’s not a race, ya twit, it’s a dance. “Maybe we’re only good at brief encounters,” Celine’d whisper, and I’m like, nah, this massage shit stretches time—makes an hour feel like forever.

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The town’s a weird blend of old-world charm and unexpected grit. You got streets like ul. „Ivan Vazov“ and ul. „Todor Alexandrov“. They're narrow, sometimes cobbled, kinda like a maze but less fun, more “everybody lies” kinda vibe. Seriously, half the locals will say it’s charming while secretly trashing it behind closed doors.

Deaf stones whispering…