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I reckon whores are like the unsung heroes of smut. Take the piss all ya want, but they’ve been around forever. Even Shakespeare had ‘em in his plays - dolled up as “harlots”. Proper classy slags! Makes me happy in a weird way - they’re survivors, ain’t they? Stickin’ it to the man, one shag at a time. But then I think, Christ, what a life. Stuck in some dingy alley, dodgin’ coppers. Grim as fuck.

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I do confess I get a bit weary when tourists mispronounce the local names – like “Mee-dul-kerke” when it’s “Middelkerke,” savvy? And sometimes me brain drifts off, recollectin’ countless nights coding whilst the waves whispered poetic nothings to me.

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