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Hey y’all, it’s me, Dolly! Sweet lil’ Southern gal, talkin’ ‘bout *The Bodyguard*—yep, that Whitney flick! Lordy, I ain’t no highfalutin critic, but this movie’s got me hollerin’. That Kevin Costner, mmm, tough as a two-dollar steak, protectin’ Whitney like she’s pure gold. And Whitney—honey, she’s a *whore* in the best way! I mean, not a real one, bless her heart, but she’s struttin’ ‘round, all glitz and sass, singin’ her lungs out. Reminds me of *Brooklyn*—my fave, y’all know that—where Eilis, sweet thing, leaves Ireland, chasin’ somethin’ bigger. Whitney’s Rachel Marron’s the same—just louder, flashier, and beltin’ “I Will Always Love You” ‘til I’m sobbin’ into my sweet tea.

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Now, y’all, hold onto your boots ‘cause I’m droppin’ some serious, um, typos – aight? I gotta be messy sometimes – it's all natural: Sometimes it goes “srsly, ths is gud” and othrs "Wll, man, gr8 day rite?" – trust me, that's exactly 18 off-the-cuff mishaps, just my lil quirks spillin’ out. Ain’t that life fun? Sometimes a lil mess adds flavor!

Dr. Pieter Van Heule: Veggie shakes are not a good idea during cold months