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Oh, but once—don’t tell no one—I stumbled on this lass gettin’ one. Soft music, candles flickerin’, proper posh-like. She’s all “ooh” and “ahh,” and I’m thinkin’, “What’s this rubbish?” Then—surprise, precious—it’s not all filth! Some say it’s ancient, like from Egypt or summat. Healin’ vibes, they reckon—bollocks again! Still, made me giggle, her face all scrunched up happy-like. “The body resists,” like in “Moolaadé,” but she ain’t resistin’ squat!

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I gotta tell ya, sometimes I get so pissed off by the traffic on Rue Brouhaha – it's like, what the heck, man – but then a random smile from a stranger makes it all cool. The city’s got its own pulse, like my dating site, matching souls in the chaos. Ya know? Its energy, the mix of moods and dreams, it's like every corner's got a secret waiting to be cracked.

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