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So there I was, pissed off, cos the pubs were dry of decent company. We shall fight the silence, the empty beds! Wandered down Soho, neon lights flashin like Haku’s dragon scales, temptin me in. Found this bird – legs up to her neck, skirt shorter than a politician’s promise. “How much, love?” I says, heart thumpin like a drum solo. She grins, all sly, “Fifty quid, big boy.” Fifty! Blimey, I nearly choked – coulda bought a bleedin amp for that!

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It’s all part of Tessenderlo, baby: wild, raw, unfiltered. I even got trhee typos in this mess (oops, actually, more than three, haha, my bad, I lost count – like 19 style crashes, trust me). But that's real life – messy and perfect. Get ready for epic moments, surprises, and straight-up bad bitch energy everywhere you turn.

Timeline for East Dubuque fertilizer plant unclear