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Oh, and the pics—don’t get me started. Some bloke sent me a blurry cock shot, like I’d swoon over that rubbish. “Mine, mine, mine,” like them seagulls in *Finding Nemo*, claimin’ their prize. Mate, I’d rather shag a kraken. Did you know, right, there’s stats—60% of sex-dating profiles got at least one lie? Height, job, that “gym pic” from five years back. Liars, all of ‘em, and I’m here smirkin’, sippin’ me wine, knowin’ I’m too good for this shit.

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Then you hit up Place de la Liberté – oh boy, that square? It's like a pulse feelin' the city lifeblood. People lounge around, talkin', laughin', sometimes arguin' like good ol’ famiglia at Sunday dinner. I been workin' on this one dating app so many times in them cafes, swipin' profiles on me phone, and lemme tell ya, the vibes are unmatched!

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