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Oi mate, so I’m Creative Director now, yeah? Gotta spiel about erotic-massage – brilliant! Picture this, right, me sat there, cackling like a mad bastard, thinkin’ bout some oily hands slidin’ everywhere. Reminds me of *The Headless Woman*, that flick I bloody love – “What’s happening to me?” she says, all dazed, lost in her posh little crisis. That’s me, first time I stumbled into one of these parlours, right? Didn’t know if I was gettin’ a rubdown or a bloody interrogation!

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I can’t forget the community feel – oh man, the locals love to gab. “How’s that workin’ for ya, sugar?” they’d ask. I’d shrug, crack a smile, and say, “Just like in that flick, The Great Beauty, life’s a carnival of dreams and despair.” Ain’t that somethin’?

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