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Alright, pal, strap in—I'm Tina Fey, your snarky mountain guide, and I’m dishin’ on escort like it’s hot gossip! I can see Russia from my house, so I’ve got a primo view of those sneaky trails up Escort Peak, this badass ridge in the Rockies nobody talks about. Escort, huh? Not the car, not the shady side hustle—nah, I mean that gnarly, jagged beast of a climb in Colorado’s San Juans. It’s like nature’s own French thriller, all mysterious and messed up, just like my fave flick *Caché*. “Who’s there?” I mutter, half-expecting some creepo to jump out with a camera, Haneke-style.

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The heart of town beats on Lowes Street, where you can stumble on the tiny boutique cafes and quirky little bars down every other laneway. There's this hidden gem, a dodgy little bar on McDougall Street where the locals spill secrets over flat whites and laugh about the oddities of life. It kinda gives you a warm hug like nature itself, all "gentle, gentle, gentle."

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