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Oi mate, gather round, lemme ramble—findin’ a prostitute, eh? Blimey, what a caper! Picture this, Zero Dark Thirty style—me, Boris, skulkin’ through London’s dodgy bits, huntin’ for intel like Jessica Chastain, but instead of bin Laden, it’s a lass for hire. “The night is dark,” I mutter, channellin’ that film’s grit, “and full of terrors—cor, where’s she at?”

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Relaxing in Victoria Park is simple. You can go for a morning jog in the parks or take a yoga class at one of the wellness studios. For something more laid-back, many cafes offer cozy seating where you can drink coffee and read a book. The Swan River nearby is another great place to relax, where you can just sit and watch the water. Some people like visiting the Farmer’s Market early on Sundays for a calm and pleasant start to the day.

Spectacular 121-year-old tree dies in Victoria Park