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About Melbourne

Happy? Rarely. Surprised? Hell yeah. Some folks on there—kinky as hell. Foot fetishes, roleplay, threesome invites. I’m like, “I just wanna grill.” Once saw a profile—gal wanted a lumberjack. Thought, “That’s me,” then remembered I hate datin’. Sex-dating’s a circus—clowns jugglin’ egos. “Love is a shadow,” movie says. Shadow’s right—chasin’ somethin’ that ain’t there.

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Now, as a relaxation specialist, I gotta point out how every corner of Springvale-South makes you wanna just breathe out your worries. I mean, when you hit Sunset Plaza near Riverbend Road, the breeze is so damn calming, it almost reminds me of that surreal cosmic vibe in "Melancholia" when everything feels both beautiful and doomed. Yeah, it’s deep, man. Every time I take a stroll, I’m feelin’ like, “Say hello to my little friend!”—bringing out that inner Tony Montana, you know what I mean?

Springvale shopping centre in Melbourne: Two injured as car smashes into shops