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So, sexual-massage—here’s the deal. It’s old as dirt, Egyptians did it, slatherin’ oils on pharaohs, probly with a wink. Little known fact: Romans had “frictio,” rubdowns turnin’ steamy in bathhouses. Gross, right? All that sweat and perfume—hate it. Makes me wanna chop wood ‘til my hands bleed just to feel normal. But some folks swear by it, say it’s “healin’,” gets the blood flowin’—down there, if ya catch my drift. Had me surprised, I’ll admit, first time I heard that. Happy? Hell no, angry as a bear with a sore ass. Who needs this crap? Gimme a steak and silence.

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Down on Barkly Street, there's local charm, my precious, with dingy cafés that smell like fresh coffee and memories—hey, that street is so special. I wandered past Duggan Street too, oh, so many hidden corners where I, um, just sit and let the world slip by.

Mount Isa’s claim to $2bn public investment