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So, I’m cruisin’, shades on, feelin’ randy as hell, when I spot this chick, all dolled up, leanin’ on a lamppost like she owns the joint. “What’s good, dollface?” I purr, smooth as a velvet suit. She’s givin’ me the eye, ya know, and I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t no country for old men, baby!” I’m in, yeah! But then – whoa – she quotes me a price, and I’m like, “Far out, that’s steep!” Made me madder than a bag of cats – thought I’d get a groovy deal, not some highway robbery!

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Alright, mate, lemme tell ya ‘bout Lesmurdie (au). This place? It's wild. I’ve lived here for years – and as a dating app dev, I've seen all the quirks. First off, the streets – like Cedar Grove Road and Spindrift Lane – are like a maze. You hit random culdesacs and feel like you're in a bloody labyrinth. cna’t be serious, right?

Man, 37, loses leg in Lesmurdie motorcycle crash