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Turns out, dere’s dis underground ting—prostitues hangin’ by da pier! Little known fact, ja? Back in da day, sailors’d roll in, droppin’ coins for a quick “hello.” Now it’s all hush-hush, but I see it, I’m no dummy! Dey blend in—tourists, beach bums, but I spot ‘em. One chick, she’s all flirty, winkin’ at me. I’m like, “Hasta la vista, baby, I’m workin’!” Made me laugh, tho—her hustle’s got guts, like Li Mu Bai flippin’ swords!

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The Yarra River runs nearby, sometimes, drifting lazily like a drunk. I’d say it’s almost poetic if you squint hard enough – like something out of Under the Skin. “It’s a strange world,” that movie says, and heck, so is this place. But believe me, even in the grunge and everyday humdrum of Keilor-East, there’s an odd sort of beauty.

Former Keilor basketball coach bailed on rape charge