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About Newcastle

Alright, listen up, you filthy lot—sexual-massage, huh? I’m Cersei bloody Lannister, and I’ve got thoughts. Cold disdain dripping off me like wine on a bad day. It’s all hands and oils, slippery nonsense—makes my skin crawl sometimes. But, fine, there’s this thing about it, right? Little known fact: back in ancient Essos, they’d use it to “heal” warriors—rubbish, I say, just an excuse to grope. Imagine some oiled-up fool kneading my back after a battle—hah! I’d slit his throat before he’d finish muttering “relax.”

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Now, don’t even get me started on the local hangout, Brewster’s Nook on Elm Street. This coffee spot? Pure magic—a hidden treasure that serves the best flat white in town! I’d pop in for a cheeky caffeine fix and sometimes, I chat with folks who remind me of the movie—so full of dreams and sometimes, bittersweet reality. “I’m sorry, Dave, I’m afraid I can’t do that,” but sometimes, we ALL gotta do the brave thing.

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