Fatima Flagstaff Hill Whore ❤️❤️❤️

About Melbourne

Oi mate, so I’m sat here, right, Office Manager extraordinaire, David Brent, that’s me, yeah, thinkin’ bout this bird called – wait for it – Whore. Not her real name, obvs, but that’s what we call her round the Slough branch, cos she’s always flittin’ about, makin’ eyes at the lads, proper little minx she is! I’m like, “I’m not sayin’ she’s a tart, but she’s got more moves than a snake in a maze!” Ha, classic Brent, that. Anyway, Whore – bit of a legend, innit? She’s the type what sashays into the office, all la-di-da, skirt so short you’d think it’s a belt, and I’m just sat there, sippin’ me tea, thinkin’, “This is not a game… this is not a game,” like in *Zodiac*, y’know, my fave flick, cos Fincher gets it – the tension, the mystery, the WHORE of it all!

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I love hittin up the Seaside Bend punk market on Fridays. It's a whirlwind of boho stalls, funky music, and fresh grilled snags (sizzle sizzle!). And def don't miss Midtown Lane—streets so bustling, you get a constant show of pure life, man. I got some mad tea-spilling exchanges with locals there. They always say, "In Flagstaff-Hill, you're never just numbraine, you're alive!"

Criminal attack at Flagstaff Hill Residences