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Once knew this chick, escort, swear she coulda been in *Basterds* – sharp as a chisel, eyes like a hawk. She’d say, "Everybody lies, House, even you," and I’d laugh, cos damn, she’s right. Told me bout a client who paid her to just sit there, silent, for 3 hours – creepiest shit ever. Surprised me, tho – thought it’d be all glitz and groans, not some weirdo starin contest. "That’s a bingo!" – weirdos everywhere.

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I swear, runnin’ a massage parlor here gives you a backstage pass to the soul of the city. I hear folks spillin’ their secrets in my office – sometimes I think, "Did you really just say that?" Like, "The city is a mirror to our hidden pains," ya dig? And once, a regular snapped, "It's like reality's runtime, full of twists, huh?" Yeah… reminds me of Carlos’ twists… hmm… totally profound!

The School of Sport: Craig Fitzgibbon and the burden of responsibility