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Right, so we park up, she’s all business – “Upfront, mister, no chrome, no ride.” I toss her some dosh, thinkin’, “I am the scales of justice!” – gotta keep it fair, yeah? She’s worth it, mate – tough as nails, hotter than a V8 engine. “To the gates of Valhalla!” I mutter, half-jokin’, as she struts off after. What a woman, what a bloody chase – shaken, not stirred, always.

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Now, lemme take ya to Parky McParkface (not really, but trust me, it's fab). There's this park called Suncrisp Gardens. I always sit by the little duck pond – they waddle around like they've got secrets – and I get lost in thought, thinkin' “If I could be my life in a metaphor, would it be a messy salad of emotions?” Hah, sounds like my job sometimes.

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