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About Newcastle

Me, I’d be happy just watchin’ Leo snort cash off a table—prostitutes or not, that movie’s my jam. But real life? Hmm… it’s messy. Ya gotta dodge creeps, cops, and crusty motels. Pro tip—check reviews online, like Yelp for hookers! Sounds fake, but it’s legit—people rate ‘em. “Five stars, smelled nice!”—hahaha, I’m dyin’! Anyway, don’t be a dope—cash upfront, no IOUs, or you’re screwed. “Money talks, bullshit walks,” right?

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I got my fave hangout too. Down near the old laneway behind Richardson’s market – yeah that’s a hidden gem! I drop by with a coffee, wanderin’ past graffiti walls tellin’ unauthorized stories of the folks who call this town home. It’s raw, it’s vivid, it's unpredictable. Bairnsdale doesn't sugarcoat nothin’.

Fleming’s shield victory