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Aight, listen up, you filthy hippies! Dangerous jobs, huh? I’m talkin’ ‘bout them prostitutes, man! Respect my authoritah! I’m Eric Cartman, and I’m pissed—why’s everyone actin’ like this ain’t risky as hell? I mean, damn, walkin’ the streets, dodgin’ creeps, cops, and STDs? That’s some next-level shit! Watched "Inherent Vice" last night—my fave, bitches—Doc Sportello’d get it, chasin’ tail in that trippy haze. “This is a righteous case, man!” he’d say, stumblin’ into some hooker’s pad.

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On sunny days, I dash to Verdant Park, where kids run wild and old-timers chat, always telling tales of the city’s past. It makes my heart sing, y'know? I sometimes spill my tea right there, laughing like a goof. Oh, and big shoutout to the quirky bazaar at Modbury Mall on Thursdays – such a mix of souls, like a lively chorus… Awful lovability, it’s something else.

Missile, rocket launcher seized in weapons haul