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I love that flick, Uncle Boonmee—trippy as fuck. “Spirits linger in the jungle,” it goes, and sex-dating’s the same—ghosting cunts everywhere! Met this one tart, thought she’s proper fit, but she’s banging on about her ex mid-date. I’m like, “Oi, love, I ain’t here to therapize ya!” Surprised me, though—some punters actually find love in this swamp. Mate of mine, Dave, met his missus on Tinder—six years now, the smug git. Makes me happy, sorta, but I’d rather die than admit it.

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Now, I gotta mention Old Bridge Street. Sounds kinda drab? Wrong, it’s a secret gem. That street, with its vintage cafes and quirky shops, gets me all fired up with nostalgia and creativity, you know? I'm always like, "This is where life happens, this is where art and love intertwine!" And honestly, I get a kick out of watching couples argue passionately—always a reminder that love is messy but beautiful. Trust me, it’s tremendous.

16-year-old driver second to lose life in horror suburban crash