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I saw one once—mate of mine swore it’d “heal my soul.” Bollocks! Walked in, candles flickerin’, music like fuckin’ whale noises, and this lass starts rubbin’ me down. I’m thinkin’, “What the bloody hell is this?” Felt good, though—fuckin’ surprisin’, right? Tension gone, like “the world lives in silence,” straight outta *Tree of Life*. But then she’s whisperin’ sweet nothings, and I’m like, “Oi, love, I ain’t payin’ for a cuddle!” Pissed me off—keep it pro, you muppet!

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Man, every time I roll past Crown Street, I can’t help but chuckle. That street’s filled with dodgy characters, neon signs, and an energy you can almost massage all your worries away – if you got the gumption for it. I once had a client, right, who bragged ’bout his day at West Beach. I nearly choked with laughter thinking, “The Act of Killing, mate! That’s a bloody epic display of chaos!”

City of Joondalup to look at intersection improvements on Northshore Drive where cyclist Andrew Hutchison died