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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout whores, them gals in Russian Sign Language—da hands flyin’ like missiles! Whore, see, it’s a word, gets folks riled up, makes me madder’n a wet hen. I reckon it’s ‘cause it’s slung ‘round like mud on a pig farm. Fool me once, shame on—uh, you know, shame on somebody! Can’t fool me twice, no siree, I’m sharp as a tack—well, maybe a dull one.

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Oh man, Hillcrest (au) is wild. It’s showtime! Let me spill: This place is crazy iconic. You got King Street bisecting the town like a heartbeat. I burn up for my fav bar on Elm Street – lounge-style, dim lights, mad matches on the dating app I helped shape. Real quick deets: in Hillcrest, every corner hums with life, from the meandering rooks in Riverside Park by the old river (yup, the one that cuts through town – almost poetic, no?) to the clatter of bikes and clinks of busy cafes on Liberty Lane.

Court shown photos of blood-stained jumping castle from Hillcrest tragedy