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Ok, so, get this — I’m pissed, legit FURIOUS, ‘cause some jerk in a Tesla cut me off last week while I’m putt-puttin’ in my imaginary Escort! I’m yellin’, “Hey, fancy pants, my Escort’s got SOUL!” *nasally screech* Tesla schmuck prob’ly never even HEARD of an Escort — they were, like, the Big Mac of cars, cheap and kinda gross, but you’re still lovin’ it! Oh, and — little secret — they used to race these suckers in rallies! Total nutso, right? Surprised the heck outta me when I Googled it — my jaw DROPPED!

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Now, picture this: on a crisp dawn, I stroll over to the banks of the meandering Willow River. The water sparkles, like silver coins flung by Fortuna herself, and it kinda whispers, "Life is but a dream, darling!" Reminds me a bit of that line from Pan’s Labyrinth: “El laberinto es real”, though, you know, in our own little universe.

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